WIP: STELLA – Here we go again…

(Originally published under the pseudonym “Torvi Tacuski”)

Meet Stella (the girl in the red shirt). OK, so that’s really me. And my name isn’t Stella, but like so many of the characters I create, I live vicariously through them, and they really are me.

So here’s the deal: I suck at Twitter. I suck at blogging. I despise Facebook, so it’s OK I suck at that, too. But being terrible at engaging in a social networking society is like throwing a big effin’ stick into my authorly bicycle spokes. If no one knows who the hell I am, how am I ever going to get my work out there? Yes, some of you probably know I write under another name, and on that Twitter account, I have over 17K followers (over 40K on Facebook – big whoop! Just trying to make a point). But the thing is, I didn’t get any of those followers because of my *badass* tweeting skills. I got them because of the books I wrote.

Now I’m trying to do it again under another name. And in a genre that’s more fitting to my personality. And it’s hard. Very hard. I could tell 40K people to come join me over here on the Dark Side, and approximately 5-10 would. (I know this because I’ve already done it…)

I think I do OK when it comes to face-to-face conversation, but only in certain environments. Book signings, for example, are not one of them. Live interviews (Skype, whatever) – NOPE! I suck at all that stuff. Basically what I’m trying to say is that I have social anxiety. Technically, I have all-across-the-board anxiety and a host of other debilitating sh*t that I won’t go into. But the bigger problem is that I have a lot to say. And sometimes (OK, all the time) I feel like I’m going to explode if I don’t speak my mind. But I can’t. At least not in the traditional way. I can’t use Twitter or Instagram or YouTube to talk politics or rant about the ridiculousness of organized religion or throw my two cents in about the stupidity of the human race (tried that too, it didn’t work either). The only way I can express myself or be me is through the characters I create.

Enter STELLA. My new work-in-progress. Just like with ALLISTER BOONE and DIRTY EDEN, I’m standing on my soapbox and letting it all out. And, like always, I’m using some of the worst parts of my own life to bring the characters and scenes to life.

I hope you’ll ride along with me on this journey.

Here’s another photo of me when I was innocent. You’ll see a lot of old photos like them on my site. I wish I could go back in time, when I was still oblivious to the hellish reality of life.